Hi
My name is AJ. I have 2 Autistic sons. One is 8 years and the other is 6 years old.
I started a blog for support of Autism parents. I want parents to put their stories and advice on it, so that there is a 'constant' support going. Parents can also asks questions on it.
It is always helpful to hear other parent's stories and learn from their experiences. So go ahead and share your stories and advice with us!
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- aj
- Hi My name is AJ. I have 2 Autistic sons. One is 8 years and the other is 6 years old. I started a blog for support of Autism parents. I want parents to put their stories and advice on it, so that there is a 'constant' support going. Parents can also asks questions on it. It is always helpful to hear other parent's stories and learn from their experiences. So go ahead and share your stories and advice with us!
1 comment:
Hi, I have a few questions for you. Can you please answer them for me? Thanks BV
Hi, I've answered them inmeddiatedly after your questions for you. Thanks AJ
Q: He was tested for autism then diagnosed as gifted (according to the psychologist he was "only"in the top 2% because he couldn't do any of the auditory processing tests)
Although he is bright, he only ever scored average at school, there was just such a difference between he abilities at home and at school I really felt like maybe I was expecting too much from him and he wasn't gifted.
Answer: I have the same problem. At home H is ingenius with building stuff, especially building paper model airplanes and rockets. He learns very quickly and remember things immediatedly. I've realised this year that the learning they do in school is more orientated for left-brain children, who are good with abstract things like ABC's, writing and reading and route learning (learning things out of there heads).
Our kids is right-brained and they learns via visual and spatial learning. That would explain the ways your kid is learning. So everything I'm teaching Hanco is via visual or spatial movements. For example the words sounds in different colours and blocks. Our short term memory can learn 7 units of meaning at one time, imagine 7 blocks next to each other touching. If you chunk the sounds into one block, you can remember more. The same principle works for our kids.
That's why certain school don't work for our kids, because the teachers doesn't want to adapt their teaching to suite our kids.
H also changed schools, and his present school try to accomodate him as far as possible. As I see it, it will always be a battle against teachers, his teacher this year teaching style is a visual and spatial style, so this year he made the most progress he ever made in his whole life.
Also he seemed to turn into himself with groups of children and seemed really unsure, but when there were only one or two kids he was the life of the party! Hanco is still like that. There are to much to cope with when there is a bigger group. They become overwhelmed.
The teacher is also not capable to assist to his needs constantly, having 20+ other kids in the class, so he gets distracted, or doesn't hear or process what was said, and get lost during the activity. Because of this, H still doesn't have a friend to play with during recess, although there are a few girls who will play with him, helping to cope and take part as they play. Otherwise he just run after them and play along side them.
Q: Finally, in February this year, I got in to see an ENT at the public hospital who talked to him (with translation) and told me she though he was deaf and would need further testing at another hospital.
Answer: H was tested this year at our local GP for Middle Ear Dysfunction. They tested the pressure in his ear and founded he has fluid in his left ear. This explains a lot of his problems. Such as not being able to follow commands, slow progress at times in school, reluctance doing physical things and struggeling doing them, or doing it backwards, because this fluid can also influence his balance.
Q: In a way I think it might have been easier if he had been deaf, at least he could have used hearing aids and people would have understood. I tend to agree with you, with this invisible disabilities it is harder to get everyone convinced and on board about the disability.
I was very lucky to get an audiologist who took me through a management/rehabilitation programme, he says we may be able to get some processing ability back! We've now been working with A for the last six months and he's a completely different child!
for the most part, with the exception of his (old) school, people have been happy to modify the way they interact with A, it's amazing the difference in his social life now his friends know to touch him to get his attention!
Answer: If you don't know what to ask for or stumble on it accidently, they won't get the help they need.
H enjoys going out in public now, I tell him where we are going, what we are getting and when it is noisy he hold my hand for security and so we can communicate. I also does this with both my kids, and it helps a lot. If a place is to noisy for H, we will either leave or he puts his fingers in his ears or his dad gives him industrial earmuffs to wear, that dampen the sound a lot.
In the beginning he couldn't cope with attending assembly in the auditorium at school because it was too loud. So we put earplugs (the ones you can buy at the chemist) in his ears. It dampened the sounds until he got used to the sounds.
Q: He is now learning in a quiet area and in six month has gone from simple addition to multiplication and division, it easy to make maths visual and touch focused.
English is still a struggle, I just can't convince him it's worth the effort, he doesn't see the point.
Answer: Start off with one way in the way I've told you in the email, when he gets it, reward him immediatedly with a sweet, for example. Next time reward him after 2 words, and so on. Remember to go at his own speed, because the length and amount of concentration in language is different than maths. That always motivates both my kids. The reward must be something he loves but only gets as a reward, even more time to play a computer/X-box game or TV can be a reward.
Q:I will try your idea of breaking up the words and colouring them, I have noticed that when we;ve tried to get him to sound out words we end up with random letters scattered throughout the words, clearly phonics is not a good strategy for him! The school is still struggleling with phonics, because that is the way they are expected to teach, although some teachers tries out my ideas.
Answer: When you present the words, or chunked letters, say the sound the combining letters makes, it's less to concentrate on than the individual letter sounds. Put the letters that makes the same sounds into one block and colour them the same colour. Like the word 'them', I would put 'th' into one block and make it one colour and 'em' into the next block and a different colour.
Q: My peatritian also prescribe Rubifen, to help him concentrate. Now at home we can see the skills he learns during concentrating in school (with Rubifen) , at home we don't give him Rubifen. That reminds me of the real H and what difference it make to his progress and behaviour.
Q: I guess I have two main struggles:
In particular I find if he is having a "bad ear day" or we are out in public he copes by going off into his own world and singing (the audiologist said this is a coping mechanism he developed at an early age, by creating a dominant noise he doesn't get so confused), While this works well for him it makes communicating with him next to impossible as he is just not aware of anything around him. I'm sure there is a better way to deal with this, I just don't know what it is!
Answer: Try 2 things. No 1 the industrial earmufs or chemist earplugs. No 2, keep sweets in your bag, when you have to communicate with him, touch him, if he responds and give you attention, reward him after you've talked with him. Even hold his hand while walking in the shops in the beginning, and squeze it when you want to talk to him. This is also easier to control him in traffic, because in danger you can just jerk him lightly in the right direction,
Q: I have also found there are people who have tried to box him in, because he doesn't have autism and is gifted I think they struggle with the idea of CAPD. this isn't a big deal except when we are trying to work with teachers etc.
Answer: I had this problem accademically with H, because he is such a good behaving child at school, he has the ability to twist the teachers around his little finger and get away with anything.
At home I challenge him with the work for his age group and then go back and work only at the basic parts that he didn't get the 1st time around. Because he gets some parts very quickly, usually the more difficult things 1st, he gets bored with some of the steps. Giving him the big picture 1st, he can built the 'puzzle' quicker, because he doesn't get the puzzle parts in the same sequence as other children. This may be applicable for your child, that he only hears or process step 2 and 4 and misses step 1 and 3.
Q: his big sister struggles with the amount of attention he receives and get very frustrated when he "ignores" her.
Answer: H and P can be best friends the one minute and worse enimies the next. P irritates H the most by constantly doing something although H asks him to stop it. P has a teasing personality and likes to jokes. When H is tired it is even worse. What I do is rewarding good behaviour, like sharing and punishing bad behaviour like fighting, by each one having time out. While they have time out in the same room but seperate I'll discuss different ways they could have settled their disagreement. After that I'll reward them when they settle their disagreements. Giving them time out also give me time to think what I'm going to say, sometimes I just talk it through by reflecting their feelings.
For example, saying to them, that his sister felt rejected or frustrated when he did not react. Ask A why he didn't react and reflect that to his sister, for example he just didn't hear her. Then suggest that she touches him next time and he must react. If he is busy and doesn't want to be disturbed, then she must come back later.
Reward them for every little attempt in resolving their comflict, or promise you'll reward the resolvement and then do it.
Q: I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm complaining, I really am pleased we have a diagnosis and I know we have an easy disability to manage compared to others.
Answer: Like I said in the beginning, I feel releaved to hear other parents suffer also like I do. That is what support parents is all about. So complain all you want to!
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